A Real Love Calculator

Remember those quizzes in the teen magazines? Now we have fancy Facebook apps and random Google Ads promising to tell us what type of lover we and if we’re compatible at all. We don’t really need a love meter, a quiz or even a love calculator to find out if you’re really in love… just ask yourself the following questions based on a wonderful definition of love from 1 Corinthians 13.

1. Are you patient with your partner?

2. Are you kind to them?

3. Do you envy anything about them?

4. Do you put them down to build yourself up?

5. Do you put them first in everything… or just yourself?

6. Do you find yourself getting very angry with them at a moments notice?

7. Do you keep a record of things they’ve done wrong to you in your mind?

8. Do you enjoy it when they suffer?

9. Would you do anything to keep them safe?

10. Do you trust them completely? Or do you have your doubts about their faithfulness?

11. Looking into the future, do you see great things ahead or just a bunch of drama?

12. Are both of you the type to keep loving one another even when things are the greatest in your relationship or life?

Now that you’ve answered these questions… put your name in the following blanks and see if this statement feels true in your life.

(Name) is patient. (Name) is kind. (Name) does not envy. (Name) does not boast or brag. (Name) is not stuck on him/herself. (Name) is not rude. (Name) is not self-centered or self-seeking. (Name) is not easily angered. (Name) keeps no record of wrongs. (Name) does not enjoy the suffering of others. (Name) is comfortable with the truth. (Name) will protect, hope for, and stick with those he/she loves.

Now that is a love quiz.

How did you do? What, if anything, was challenging to you? Post your thoughts in the comments.

Audit Your Child’s Spiritual Life

If you are a person of faith, you are tasked by God Himself to be the primary spiritual leader for your children. You are the one who should have the most influence, the most input,  and the highest level of concern over where they are spiritually.

There is a trend that I see today in our families. Parents are more concerned about their child’s behavior than their character. They’re more involved in their child’s sports than they are their Sunday School. They’re more worried about academics than their basic Biblical understanding.

I’ve seen it dozens of times in my 10+ years of ministry. Parents who brush off church services for sporting events. Then when child grows into a teen and loses all interest in Church and a relationship with God they come to me wondering what went wrong. I’ve never had a parent who prioritized their child’s spiritual upbringing come running, eyes wide with fear.

“Exercise is good for your body, but religion helps you in every way. It promises life now and forever.” These words are worthwhile and should not be forgotten.
1 Timothy 4:8-9 (Contemporary English Version)

I’m not saying that we need to quit caring about these things… I’m just arguing that we need to care about spiritual things more… and most. Our enemy doesn’t care if your kid is smart, athletic or talented. He can make use of any of that… but if your child becomes smart and spiritual, athletic and Godly, talented and discipled… that’s a threat.

My advice? Do an audit of your child’s spiritual life. Have you met their Sunday School teachers? Do you know their minister? If they go to a Christian school or daycare have you met the Chaplin? Have you ever sat through a class? Requested a copy of their policies and procedures? Do you know what they’re teaching?

Your child’s spiritual upbringing is your responsibility. It’s not like ballet or soccer… we can’t trust someone else to teach it to them. And we can’t take for granted that they’re getting what they need outside our home.

Your feedback and comments are welcome.

5 Things I’m Doing To Help My Wife More

I’m learning more and more that the key to a happy home is a happy wife. The key to a happy wife is making her feel appreciated and keeping her from feeling overwhelmed. The key to both of those is to  help her. It’s basic I know… but like so many things with relationships, it’s not knowing what to do, it’s buckling down and just doing it.

I’ve always figured that if my wife needed my help that she would ask. But she’s the type that things she should be able to handle it all on her own. She’s not good at asking. So these are things that I’ve just started to do on my own. I just made a list of tasks that seemed to drain her the most and took ownership of them. These aren’t things she’s asked me to do… they’re things I added myself and just let her know. She didn’t complain.

Here are a list of 5 things I’ve added to my Husband Portfolio that are really working wonders in my home.

1. I’ve started putting the kids to bed every night. We used to trade nights… now it’s my responsibility.

2. Bathing the kids… it’s my job now.

3. Cleaning the kitchen and doing dishes after dinner? My job now.

4. I must find and complete 5 tasks that help her around the house every evening after work.

5. I’ve secured a babysitter every other Thursday night so I can take her out to dinner.

She literally told me the other night, “You’re coming as close as you ever have to being the perfect husband”. I still have a bit to go I suppose. 🙂

Husbands, I put it to you. What things could you be doing (or are doing) to keep your wife happy, healthy and appreciated? Share your ideas in the comments so that we may all gain strength from your great wisdom!