25 Random Things I Love About My Wife

Jennifer 

Let’s start a new meme… one that will actually do some good. I loved “25 Random Things About Me” as much as the next guy… but what could be better than bragging on our spouses?

  1. She’s the cutest wife ever.
  2. She does a podcast with me.
  3. She let’s me do podcasts.
  4. She is an awesome mother.
  5. She’s a great wife.
  6. She keeps herself in shape.
  7. She’s a great cook.
  8. Other people are impressed by her. They actually think more of me because I’m married to her.
  9. She’s very disciplined.
  10. She has great hair.
  11. She doesn’t decorate our bedroom with girly flower prints and such.
  12. Sometimes she doesn’t fall asleep while we’re watching movies.
  13. She helps me in my ministry.
  14. She smells good.
  15. Once in a while she’ll play Xbox with me.
  16. She thinks I look good.
  17. She trusts God with our life and future.
  18. She doesn’t talk bad about me to her friends.
  19. She works hard to make the best of bad situations.
  20. She dresses the kids very well. They never look like trailer babies.
  21. She wakes me up nice every morning.
  22. She has a great personality.
  23. The way she’ll turn her head away so I won’t see her smiling at something I said… that she wants to find annoying, but can’t help but laugh at.
  24. She is aware of her issues and strives to compensate for them… rather than being defensive and sensitive.
  25. Who needs a reason? She’s amazing!

Parenting Is Setting The Example, And Scary

example

A wise man once said, “At first a kid will do what you say… but then they’ll do what you do.” A scary thought huh. It means that properly raising your child is more than modifying bad habits and behaviors in your child… it’s also becoming the person you want you child to become yourself.

I think this is why so many parents aren’t properly disciplining their children these days. They feel hypocritical correcting behavior in their children that they aren’t controlling in themselves.

It’s also the reason so many teens become super rebellious. They see an inconsistency between what they’ve always been told and how their parents have lived their lives. They lose respect for their authority figures and use it as an excuse to do their own thing their way.

Another wise man once presented me with a concept that change my life. He asked me about the condition of my life. My habits, my thought life and the condition of my spirit. I told him I was fine with all three. Then he asked me if I would wish any of the three on another person that I cared about. In that exact moment I realized that no part of my life was worth duplicating. I committed to improving myself physically, mentally and spiritually and it’s a good thing… because within a few years I was having my own children. Little lives that I was responsible for. Little personalities that were being shaped by my attitudes, outlooks and habits.

Ask yourself that question: “Is my life worth duplicating in my children?” And respond accordingly.

10 Ways To Do Father’s Day Right

FathersDay

Father’s Day is coming up. It’s got to be one of the most downplayed events of the year. The role of the father has been devalued in our culture to the point that virtually no one feels it’s an occasion worth celebrating at all.

I believe the reasons for that are many. Any role that is abused by those who fill it is destined to be devalued. But there are many of us Dads out there who take their job very seriously and are darned good at it. We deserve a pat on the back.

With that in mind, here are a few ways you can make the Father in your life feel like a million bucks… without going broke.

10. Don’t ever refer to him as one of your children.

I’ve heard many a loving wife jokingly add one additional child to the total when they’re asked how many kids they have. “It’ll be nice when I get him raised,” they’ll say. Would you like it if he talked to his friends like that about you?

9. Let him overhear you talking him up.

This is the polar opposite of the last point. Rather than your husband catching you talking him down… how much will it pump him up to hear you talking good about him? We husbands are pretty simple. We rise or fall to the level you treat us like we’re at already. Treat your man like he’s a 10… pretty soon, he’ll start being an 11.

8. Bake something.

Seriously. Nothing says “I love you” like baking. Make cookies. A cake. Perhaps a peach cobbler. Heck, we’d settle for a banana putting with 3 boxes of vanilla wafers. If you’ll ask him nicely, I’m sure he’d agree to eat it all before you were tempted to do it yourself.

7. Give him some guilt-free time.

I know it may seem he already gets a lot of that already… but guilt-free free time is priceless and not the same as sneaking off to play video games. The more guilt-free time you give him… the less he’ll take from the family later on.

6. New Socks, Underwear and Undershirts.

Don’t wrap them up and give them to him. It’s embarrassing and underwhelming in that context. Buy them and put them in his drawer without saying a word. It’ll be a huge surprise the next morning to find a drawer full of fresh, unworn whites. Every man’s dream.

Continue reading 10 Ways To Do Father’s Day Right

Visions Aren’t Everything

tvopener

Several years ago I had an issue with one of my leaders in Children’s Ministry. It was over uniforms for a girls group. The group were supposed to be wearing them… but they weren’t even being offered uniforms by the group’s leadership. When I approached the leader I was told that the girls couldn’t afford the class A uniforms. I proposed that we go with a class B or even C option which would be a matching T-shirt with a sash for badges. This idea was whole-heartedly rejected by my leader.

Why? She wanted the class A uniforms and was willing to wait. It had been over 5 years at that point with no uniforms. It was time to admit something: that we were never going to have perfection. We needed to settle for (in her mind) something less… because it was better than nothing.

I’ve recently applied the lesson I learned from that experience to my marriage. I find that I have this perfect vision of what I want my family to be… and vision is a good thing don’t get me wrong. But it doesn’t make sense to stubbornly demand your vision at the expense of an obvious reality.

We may want our spouse to act or be a certain way. We have a vision for them… but what power do we have to change them? None! It may be time for us to adjust our ideas and accept something ‘less’ in order to ultimately get more from our relationships.

Our vision is probably not as ‘perfect’ anyway. We’re flawed people. Often our expectations of our spouses are based on overcompensations for some unmet need or emotional injury from our past. It’s ultimately very unfair to hold others to our own standards. It assumes to much in the first place… that we know exactly what everyone in the family needs to be happy.

Meanwhile, while we’re all waiting for that perfect dream… everyone’s miserable.

We can’t change people… but we can provide an atmosphere that instigates change. That atmosphere cannot be one of judgment and disapproval but rather one of unconditional love, understanding, selflessness and example setting. We aren’t settling for less… rather we’re improving our situation by accepting reality and making selfless, sacrificial adjustments from where we are now… which ultimately get is closer to where we need to be, rather than where we dreamed we’d be.